You, are the way you drive

Have you ever paid special attention to the way different people manoeuvre on the road and wonder beyond their mere desire to get from one place(or point) to another?

Do you faithfully and obediently drive a safe distance behind the person in front of you on the highway?

Do you usually travel on the left most lane, middle lane or the express lane?

Do you zip in between lanes simply to overtake the car in front of yours?

Do you peek at your fuel meter every now and then to ensure that you don't run out of fuel halfway to your destination?

Do you top up fuel only when it is running out or whenever you deem convenient to do so?

Do you tailgate and flash your high beam furiously at the fellow driving in front of you to get him to give way? OR

Do you overtake him at the first possible instance and swiftly return to the lane you were originally travelling on, just to prove a point?

Do you give way to drivers trying to manoeuvre into your lane, whether they signal or not?

This list is non exhaustive.

My point here is , the way you drive can offer an insight to the way you behave in life in general or your attitude towards life itself.

My philosophy here is , the journey on the road can be likened to an individual's journey in life.

The go getters simply refuse to tag behind their slow moving counterparts, or ppl who hinder their progress, in our analogy, the destination they are travelling to. In life, you "overtake" others who are progressing slower than you. Or you "horn/flash your high beam" at those who are preventing you from progressing and you have no other ways to "overtake" them other than "signalling" albeit not very politely to them, hoping that they get the message and "give way" to allow you to move on.

Others are contented to move along at the same pace as others. It doesn't matter to them whether they reach the destination 10mins or 1hr later than others. "I'd reach there eventually, why should I take a risk?" might be on their minds.

While the risk takers, which could probably be a majority seek to take "another route", or take the risk to "change lane" in order to reach their destination or attain their goal faster.

Take a moment to observe your driving style and see if it reflects the mentality you adopt towards life.

At the end of the day, we're all caught up in this rat race, quintessential of our competitive society. To quote a line dropped by this stress management consultant who conducted a particular workshop I attended some time ago,

"Singaporeans are really Russians in Asian skincoats"

which I found rather corny and somewhat risible but nonetheless thought provoking if you look beyond the humour and reflect on its implications.

Victoria Chorale Aloof? Proud? Cmon, are you serious?

This is fairly disturbing. I mean no problems if Victoria Chorale REALLY is aloof and proud and what not. And on what grounds? For being one of Singapore's longest standing choral society? For being the alumnus of VJ/VS choir? For recently being crowned Category Champions at the World Choir Games in Xiamen?

The truth is we are not! And it really irritates the hell out of me when you have sneaky little goblins(I wanted to say sneaky little bastards but this is a public blog I should not advocate the use of foul language, hmm did i just say sneaky little bastards) with no honour (yea goblins coz they probably have GREEN eyes, you know what i'm saying!) going around sprouting all sort of nonsence about us AND ignorant members of the public or audience who don't know you personally going around commenting that we ARE aloof and proud simply because we kindda APPEARED aloof and proud on stage.

Cmon! Making a judgement call, moreover an irresponsible and groundless one on not ONE person but a GROUP of people simply because you(or the group of non-thinking childish immature company you were in) perceive us exuuuuuuberating an air of suuuuperiority on stage as ALOOFNESS???? Well done mate.

What made things worse is my realization from various sources that people making such comments are involved in this choral scene, whether they're faithful or casual patrons of choral music OR choristers themselves singing in choirs that have or have not interacted with the chorale.

If any VC member did anything that was offensive, rude or suggested aloofness, come take it up with us! We'd definitely investigate and provide you with a comprehensive explanation or an apology if we have REALLY TRULY stepped on your toes. www.vc.org.sg is where you can contact us via the contact details listed on the website so get down to doing it if you think your comments were fair and justifiable.

Just don't go around defaming us and maligning us of an attitude we do not embrace and will not even tolerate among ourselves.

Please! what the!

Where I'm headin'

Over the course of the past few weeks, I've "interviewed" several friends involved in the choral scene on what they see themselves doing in this path in the long run. I've asked them what their motivations are, what their short/long term and ultimate goals are etc.

The one who I respected a lot said he is doing it because he wants to inculcate values through interaction with the kids. A tall order, but admirable nonetheless.

I am reminded of this other one who does it for self satisfaction and expression. Fair enough. Essentally self gratification in the form of what? Making good music? Or guiding the chorister towards meaningful music making? Stark difference btw the two I must say.

This little one says she has no long term plans and seek to improve herself in the short run before making any definitive long term plans. Mature I would say.

I am kindda worried with this other one. He seems to have lost that child-like, pure and sincere passion towards music making. I hope I am wrong.

What about me?

I am constantly seeking to improve myself. I am never satisfied with what I can do. Rather, I am always concerned and critical of my limitations. To me, successes in competitions are merely a stepping stone for any choir. Competitions are stages for choirs to showcase their abilities and establishing their reputations. It is a platform from which a choir reaches out to the masses. Globally. Through the music she makes. I always believe that this artform is most expressive amongst others. Are there any instrument as natural and unique as the human voice? Can any device articulate words, phrases or any other literature more meaningfully than the human voice? My answer is no.

Thus, the ultimate goal I've set for myself in my music career(if I do end up pursuing one) is to transmit messages for the better good, to touch the hearts and to communicate the sincerity of music making in its purest form possible through the voices of my choirs.

I believe I've matured over the years. For a very brief period of time in my conducting career, I basked in the fame and limelight the role of a conductor readily ensures. I awakened from that delusion very promptly, only to find myself cheapened and disgusted with what I became albeit only for a short while. I thank my parents' for the upbringing and various other life experiences that made me a down to earth and non-assuming person.

My point is, it is easy for one to be entrapped in this evil called self-glorification, especially in an illustrious occupation like that of a conductor. Thus, it is important for me that anyone, especially one who is responsible for the musical experience of the people he/she works with, serves with a pure and sincere intent. Doing anything for the sake of self-glorification cheapens its meaningfulness and undermines its true value.

Relationship (the romantic lovey dovey kind..)

Alrite despite garnering only 4 responses to my previous post, I shall reopen this blog! My 4 ardent fans shall witness history in the making! bwahahahahah! (can't believe i just said that..childish...duh)


ok now moving on to something more serious, I want to blog about the above mentioned:
All of what follows are purely my personal opinion and take on the subject. It may or may not resonate with your views or your personal experience. Feel free to respond!

Having been engaged in a grand total of 2 serious relationships to date (yea yea some of you guys might be raising an eyebrow or two now..but yea i'm being totally honest here..), I believe I'm a guru in analyzing this thing call "a relationship". But I'm not gonna write a paper on that today. Instead, I'd write, from a retrospective/reflective point of view.

A relationship to me is about commitment, dedication and most fundamentally, love.
I know there're many theories about what love really is, altruistic in its purest form but most often if not ONLY found in its lesser variations.

Despite being commonly portrayed as a player or a person who fools around (or shows the natural tendency to), I am conversely a person who is staunchly devoted to the person I fall in love with. And there could only be one at any one time.

The thing about me is, I go into a r/s willing to sacrifice almost anything I possibly could. When I fall in love I fall deep. Like what my buddies always say, I fall "head over heels over head over heels over head.." you get the idea.

The more I compromise on my personal lifestyle for the person I am going into a relationship with, the deeper my commitment towards this person burrows. To the extent of which I wonder if I've lost myself, sometimes.

Now if you're mistaken, the love remains steadfast, it only gets stronger and deeper. However, the sense of "self" weakens.

Upon reaching this "phase", I'd start to ask myself questions like:

Why should I compromise further?
Why should the other person compromise?
Does the other person love me as much as I do?
etc etc etc

Are these signs of insecurity I ask myself. Nope is usually the answer. And I continue to ponder for the answer.

Just a couple of days ago while showering, something hit me (not literally getting hit by something something if you are booboo and doesn't understand the use of metaphors..).

I am feeling insecure about myself or rather what I have become or what I am going to be.
By compromising on things I feel strongly for, things I am passionate about, things I enjoy doing in the name of galvanizing the relationship (to me, galvanizing a r/s = keeping my partner happy), I have lost a part of me that has defined who I am or at least who I used to be. Do I resent this change? I don't know. Am I accepting this transition if it is inevitable? I don't know.

I reckon I want to be both Terrence the man he was and Terrence the boyfriend/husband/partner/daddy. Would this ever be possible? If so, how can I attain this seemingly impossible balance between the 2 identities?


Alrite! I want to hear your comments and I want to read about your personal take on the same issue!

Thus I am TAGGING the following people:

1. everyone who has posted a comment to my previous entry heh heh.
2. everyone and anyone who reads my blog! (don't be a voyeur leave your blog addy here as a comment!)

Should I? Let's hear it from the audience..

Start blogging again? heh let's see how many non-spam responses I get from this...hahaha

edit: k let's give this a deadline...say..infinity!