Back up your hard disk.

Finally, drive by desperation to free up some hard disk space on my mac, I found some time to go through the files I managed to salvage from the old computer that died on me. Sadly, most of them were corrupted but I had some luck retrieving some music files and some photos. As I was running through the photos, deleting the irrelevant, I dawned upon the cruel fact that I might have lost some really precious photos from the past, as it became more and more likely that they will not appear in this bundle.

And I found some photos of ah ma, taken with me during last year's CNY celebration.
I have always celebrated CNY with my grandma, and my many uncles and aunties, cousins, nephews and nieces. You can imagine how noisy and chaotic sometimes it could be. But that's what a large happy family felt like to me. And there's always the figurehead whom everyone respects and loves. My granny had always been the source of unity. Single-handedly, her very presence ensured that the many brothers and sisters gathered at least a few times each year, to celebrate either CNY, or her birthday, any other random events. We'd always meet at my granny's place, affectionately known as "Ah Ma Jia". Things would not be the same again.

I'm sorry Ah Ma. I didn't visit as much as I should and I wanted to. I took things for granted. I think I took life for granted. Work should've never been an excuse. There's always another time for work and I shouldn't have been a workaholic. I know I've always loved you but I never knew how much I miss you until you were gone. Nowadays, whenever I think of you, I couldn't seem to control my emotion and my tears. Perhaps, I've never really gotten over your leaving. Sometimes I wish, when I drop by Ah Ma Jia, things would still be the same. You'd be either watching tv, or dozing off on your armchair. I'd try conversing with you in my totally perfect hokkien and nonetheless, you'd laugh at anything I said, whether you understood me or not. It always felt so peaceful around you. Almost like I'm once again, the little boy you took care of when I was in primary school. You indulged me.

I miss you so much Ah Ma.