Where I'm headin'

Over the course of the past few weeks, I've "interviewed" several friends involved in the choral scene on what they see themselves doing in this path in the long run. I've asked them what their motivations are, what their short/long term and ultimate goals are etc.

The one who I respected a lot said he is doing it because he wants to inculcate values through interaction with the kids. A tall order, but admirable nonetheless.

I am reminded of this other one who does it for self satisfaction and expression. Fair enough. Essentally self gratification in the form of what? Making good music? Or guiding the chorister towards meaningful music making? Stark difference btw the two I must say.

This little one says she has no long term plans and seek to improve herself in the short run before making any definitive long term plans. Mature I would say.

I am kindda worried with this other one. He seems to have lost that child-like, pure and sincere passion towards music making. I hope I am wrong.

What about me?

I am constantly seeking to improve myself. I am never satisfied with what I can do. Rather, I am always concerned and critical of my limitations. To me, successes in competitions are merely a stepping stone for any choir. Competitions are stages for choirs to showcase their abilities and establishing their reputations. It is a platform from which a choir reaches out to the masses. Globally. Through the music she makes. I always believe that this artform is most expressive amongst others. Are there any instrument as natural and unique as the human voice? Can any device articulate words, phrases or any other literature more meaningfully than the human voice? My answer is no.

Thus, the ultimate goal I've set for myself in my music career(if I do end up pursuing one) is to transmit messages for the better good, to touch the hearts and to communicate the sincerity of music making in its purest form possible through the voices of my choirs.

I believe I've matured over the years. For a very brief period of time in my conducting career, I basked in the fame and limelight the role of a conductor readily ensures. I awakened from that delusion very promptly, only to find myself cheapened and disgusted with what I became albeit only for a short while. I thank my parents' for the upbringing and various other life experiences that made me a down to earth and non-assuming person.

My point is, it is easy for one to be entrapped in this evil called self-glorification, especially in an illustrious occupation like that of a conductor. Thus, it is important for me that anyone, especially one who is responsible for the musical experience of the people he/she works with, serves with a pure and sincere intent. Doing anything for the sake of self-glorification cheapens its meaningfulness and undermines its true value.